Note: I've revised this article and put How To Outfit Yourself For Backpacking (and what to do when you encounter a bear) in my blog here.
When I first began traveling on my own I discovered there was a learning curve involved and that not every trip will go off as planned. Nowhere will that become more evident than in my attempt to backpack the Appalachian Trail.
In my young and stupid days (vs. the 'having a senior moment' stupid days I currently have) when my then boyfriend suggested we take a vacation together and backpack the Appalachian Trail, I replied "What a great idea! That's something we've never done before!"
In my own defense I can only plead temporary insanity.
I'd never been backpacking before in my life. What I knew about backpacking back then would have fit in a thimble. As you're about to see...
Our first mistake was deciding we'd do this during the week of the 4th of July. Without any camping reservations or any planning at all. This decision is rather like saying "Hey let's head off for a quiet, peaceful vacation in Cancun during the week of spring break!"
After driving 16 hours and 800+ miles straight through to Pisgah National Forest in the western section of North Carolina, we arrived at Davidson River campground and by the grace of God, somehow managed to snag the last campsite that resulted from a last minute cancellation by those who had reserved it.
Davidson River Campground
Exhausted from the drive we quickly set up camp, ate a dehydrated dinner of God Knows What This Is Supposed To Be and lapsed into the next best thing to a coma.
We were up early the next morning, excited to start our Appalachian Trail backpacking adventure. After a quickie breakfast of dehydrated Who Knows What This Is Supposed To Be, we broke camp and headed up the trail. Here's the weird thing about the AT in that national forest. The trail that leads from Pisgah Forest Ranger Station to the Appalachian Trail is part of the Appalachian Trail itself. The trail runs through Pisgah National Forest, which is known for its rugged terrain and scenic views. While the specific route from the ranger station to the Appalachian Trail is not detailed in the sources, you can expect to find various access points and routes within the forest that lead to the Appalachian Trail. Why this was left unmarked is anyone's guess and it's very confusing. But then the government runs the place so SNAFU.
Anyway, we were about an hour up the trail when two forest rangers (a male and a female) stopped us. Apparently my boyfriend had packed his .45 pistol in his backpack, another camper had seen this and reported us as potential poachers. Before I even realized what was going on and that my boyfriend had done this, I found myself in handcuffs, under arrest.
"YOU DID WHAT YOU G**DAMN IDIOT?!! WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!!"
I screamed at the then boyfriend.
"I did it to protect YOU from bear attacks!" he shot back.
"DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO LAY THAT BULL*** ON ME! I GREW UP WITH BEARS, RAISING BEARS YOU MORON! I DON'T NEED YOUR PROTECTION FROM ANY BEAR ATTACKS! LET'S CALL IT WHAT IT IS! YOUR TESTOSTERONE IS OUT OF CONTROL AND YOU WERE THINKING WITH THE WRONG HEAD! OH LOOK AT ME, I'M MR. BIGSHOT WITH A .45! IF YOU HAD A DAMN FUNCTIONING BRAIN CELL IN YOUR OTHER HEAD YOU'D BE DANGEROUS!"
Apparently it was obvious to the rangers that I'd had no part in Chit For Brains boyfriend's putting a pistol in his backpack so the female ranger un-arrested and uncuffed me - all while trying to keep a straight face at the verbal assault I was laying on Chit For Brains boyfriend. Chit For Brains was still under arrest so back down the mountain the four of us headed to the Pisgah Ranger Station/Visitor Center.
As the male ranger so eloquently put it to Chit For Brains, "Son, if I were you I'd be more afraid of getting mauled by that pissed off girlfriend of yours than by any bear."
YOU TELL HIM, RANGER RICK!
The Pisgah Natl. Forest Ranger Station/Visitor Center - and home for wayward potential poachers
So while Ranger Rick completed the mound of paperwork Chit For Brains had now created with his stupid stunt, I got an unscheduled tour of the Ranger Station/Visitors Center. And a very nice Visitor Center it is, I might add. You should definitely make this your first stop when entering Pisgah Natl. Forest!
They have very attractive exhibits about anything and everything park related; a huge wall of maps, brochures, and pamphlets and the rangers are super nice and helpful - as long as you're not under arrest as a potential poacher, that is.
Interior of the Ranger Station/Visitor Center
By noon, Ranger Rick had finished processing Chit For Brain's arrest and we were free to leave.
On with hiking the AT. Of course, Chit For Brains had chosen one of the most strenuous portions of the AT for us to tackle our first time backpacking.
The Appalachian Trail in North Carolina spans approximately 95 to 100 miles, featuring stunning mountain landscapes, diverse wildlife, and significant elevation changes, including the highest point on the trail at Clingmans Dome. This part of the trail runs through the heart of the Great Smoky Mountains and parts of the Blue Ridge range. North Carolina's section of the AT is known for its rugged climb and remote wilderness.
Clingmans Dome Observation Point | Photo credit: Gatlinburg.com
Hikers in this area will experience considerable elevation gain and loss. Which means you go up and down and up and down. A LOT. There are virtually no flat parts of the trail, which makes it one of the most demanding sections of the entire AT. The total elevation gain over the 95 miles is 18,000 feet. You can also expect rocky outcrops, root filled paths, and occasional scrambling over boulders. Good hiking boots and hiking poles are recommended for this terrain.
Speaking of hiking boots...
If you buy a new pair take plenty of time to break them in before your trip. Don't do what this nitwit did and forget to break them in or by the end of your first day your feet will look like this.
I was in so much pain this was me at every mountain stream we came to in order to numb my feet sufficiently to be able to continue walking.
By the following morning my feet were so painful and swollen that my hiking boots were dangling from a carabiner on my pack and I did the rest of that extremely rugged trail in flip flops. (Try it sometime!)
Add to that, carrying a pack that was 54 pounds overweight.
This next bit is for you gals out there...
Not to get too personal, but the change in elevation changes your menstrual cycle. Doesn't matter if you just had your last period or not....SURPRISE! Pack sufficient feminine hygiene products. Trust me on this one.
While we're at it, let's go over the National Park's idea of bathrooms:
I get it that our NPS are constantly subjected to budget cuts...but REALLY?
With the gazillions of trees on that trail, you couldn't get out there and at least build a log privacy shelter around the things?
Or at least turn them around the other way so every hiker going up and down the trail isn't seeing you pop a squat in living Technicolor?
You have 2 options ladies if you want any semblance of privacy:
1. Before doing your business run up and down the trail in each direction to make sure no hikers are approaching...OR
2. Do what I did and take the tarp out of your backpack and make Chit For Brains who got me into this mess to begin with, hold the tarp in front of you to afford you some privacy - while at the same time helping curb the PMS you're now suffering from that has you on the verge of launching that Chit For Brains boyfriend off the nearest cliff. (You don't want to launch him because you still need him to hold that tarp for you at every pit stop)
By the end of the first day we were both so exhausted and in so much pain Chit For Brains decided he didn't want to mess with setting up the tent and campsite so we'd just spend the night in a trail shelter.
Bears equate the smell of blood with food and their sense of smell is so keen they can smell food from as far away as 18 to 20 miles away. I'm now a ringing dinner bell for any bear present within that 18 to 20 mile range and they feed at night.
Suddenly Mr. I Got Us Arrested For Carrying a Gun To Protect YOU From Bear Attacks could care less if a bear wanders into that open shelter and drags me off in the middle of the night for its dinner entree.
Incidentally, just because you're housed in one of these shelters doesn't mean you've laid exclusive claim to it. Any other hiker is free to join you at any time! As I laid awake most of the night in order to protect myself as Chit For Brains snored away, another male hiker joined us in the shelter.
While we're on the subject of these shelters...if you don't like mice crawling on you in the middle of the night I'd suggest you stay elsewhere as they're infested with mice. Also be careful of who you share the shelter with. Many homeless people are now making these shelters their homes and some of them aren't quite playing with a full deck if you know what I mean.
I drifted off temporarily sometime just before dawn and awoke to more fog than currently clouded my exhausted brain. Our male sheltermate was already up and about but his gear was still in the shelter. I dragged myself out of the shelter and this is the first thing I saw...
OMG is that a ROPE around his neck?!!
The first thought to pop into my foggy brain was OMG! THE TRAIL GOT TO HIM TOO AND HE'S HUNG HIMSELF!
The AT having robbed me of any clear, rational thinking at that point, I go into instinctive mode: Grab my knife from my pack to hopefully cut him down in time to save him.
So here I go charging down the trail, knife in hand, toward this poor guy when I finally realize oh wait...it's a thin tree not a rope.
But too late...this guy has turned around and already seen what I'm sure he thought was a knife-wielding crazed serial killer charging down the trail at him and he's disappeared into the woods at a dead run.
We never saw him again that I could explain and apologize. I'm sure he was hiding in the woods watching for us to leave the shelter so he could safely retrieve his gear life and limb intact.
Day 2 and it happens...Chit For Brains stops abruptly and whispers to me "I'll bet you're hoping I had my gun NOW!" Right smack in front of us on the trail stood a black bear, the first of several we'd encounter.
"Oh get out of the way!" I said, shoving him aside. (CFB boyfriend, not the bear) I did what anyone who knows how to behave around bears does when encountering one on the AT. Made myself as large as possible, stood my ground and said loudly but calmly "Hey bear!" and continued to talk to it in a non-threatening manner.
The bear looked at us for a few moments then ambled off into the woods as they typically do.
"Oh lookie there!" I said to CFB, my voice dripping sarcasm. "No need to pump it full of lead at all!"
I won' take you through our entire hike, just the final day of it when I finally said "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I'M PACKING UP AND GOING HOME!"
By then the weather had changed once again and it was 90 degrees in the shade. Chit For Brains was sick in the tent with something. It was so stifling in the tent I even stripped off my underwear before redressing in my shorts and tee shirt in a lame attempt to cool off. The heat in the tent was too much for me so I decided I'd go into the 90 degree heat outside to take a walk.
There was a single one lane road next to the campsite we were at and because it was a holiday week, it looked like a parking lot of bumper to bumper traffic.
I'm walking along this packed road when suddenly I spot them. Blackberries! REAL FOOD! I was going to snag myself as many of those suckers as I could. I stepped into the weeds and... right into a ground wasp nest.
I'm now a blanket of black wasps that are clinging to my tee shirt and stinging me through it. I'm screaming, no one is coming to help me so I rip off my tee shirt right there in the middle of the highway in full view or everyone.
The last thing I remember before lapsing into unconsciousness in the middle of the highway was some woman yelling at her husband "GET BACK IN THIS CAR! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN TITS BEFORE!"
I have no recollection of how I got to the hospital but was told it was via helicopter due to the severity of my stings. The ER doctor told me they'd stopped counting at 180 stings and he'd seen people die from far fewer stings. My entire body was a mass of painful large red welts. Although they released me, I spent the remainder of the day lying in an icy mountain stream in an attempt to kill the pain.
I was DONE with backpacking the AT or any other trail. The first thing that happened when we got home was that CFB boyfriend and I broke up. Then I took all of that expensive fancy new backpacking gear and threw it in my parking lot dumpster. It would be some time before I was ready to give any kind of hiking another go.
My take on backpacking the Appalachian Trail?
Just send up a flare when you're ready for the Flight For Life to arrive....